Ehhh..this is an exception. I did not want to post. But ehhh. Its my birthday afterall right..I think I deserve a short break!

Firstly I must thank the many people who managed to remember that its my birthday despite their busy schedules man. Really appreciated it. I don't care about presents. Its seriously the thought that counts. But still, must thank kok tong and my gay bro for spending today with me! Today I wasn't in a good mood (suprisingly since its 5th november), but still, it turn out to be enjoyable!

Went to plaza sing to eat a super uber duper heavy meal! Den my wallet feel super uber duper empty -.-. Ok la. Quality time spent with friends is priceless. Its just like friendship. It definitely cant be bought.

Oh ya! Must thank mojojojo and ho piglet! This is the 1st time i see so many sweets and marshmellows in my house! Confirm eat until teeth drop! HAHAHA.

This shall be my last post before I go on a studying spree. Today's farewell made me see through a lot of things.

Firstly, fate has been very nice to me by actually letting me retain and be part of S204.

This is really the best 1.75 years of my life. Great classmates, friends, great teachers, what more can I ask for? The friendships forged will really remain with me for life. Not just the friends within my class, but also from other classes too! If I dint stay on, I probably wouldn't have known so many people that made such a big difference to my life. It gives me a heavy feeling to know that after 6 weeks or so, I am no longer a student anymore! I will really really miss my classmates and all my teachers man. They not only guided me but they nurtured me into a better person! If not for them I think I would still be a rotten apple sia. Although I am like the laughing stock in the class >.<, I dont mind it at all man. HAHA. At least it makes the environment so relaxed.

Overall, a better life? Yea man. Everyone means a lot to me even though I may try to bastard everyone everyday. In my heart, even though its only 1.75 years, I feel its 17.5 years!

I realised who are important to me and who isn't. I shall treasure those who are worth remembering for years to come rather than spending time on oh well. I shouldn't give any names. Being through thick and thin together has been one enjoyable experience! Real friends are definitely worth treasuring!

That's the second thing I learned today. People who care for you show it through their speech and actions. People who don't. Oh well. Again no names shall be mentioned. Somehow I just have the feeling that some people simply don't care. (no offence, just what I feel. ) I know my class cares and obviously I care for my class. (dam sounds more like the temasek sec motto of we care -.-. Kena influenced by the temasekians in my class). It would be funny to see how we will look like after 10 years. Esp ms ong and mr chee bwahahaha. Probably married? Ms ong maybe but mr chee? Hehehehe no comments. Close friends will let you know they care, good teachers will show they care too. I am very happy to get everything in this 1.75 years! Although I take lit, I am used to not showing my emotions publicly. Although I bastard people everyday, I still care. HAHA. Don't think too much about the side comments I made about people who dont care. I hope I am not referring to anyone in particular :)

Thanks people for all the farewell gifts! Although I didn't bother to get anything for any1, (u all shld know la i very kiam siap) but I wish all of my friends good luck for As! It is the thought that counts!

The last part- I am really tired. Today did perk me up, but after the jog i feel so tired that I got no mood to do anything. 3 weeks is still enough for me to create a miracle. But I will need all the determination and dedication to work towards that final goal.

Limit myself to 10 minutes of talking cock!

I am really really very tired. I don't know man. Maybe things do happen for a reason that I was never ever aware of.

As are coming but my sense of direction is leaving me apparently. Most of the time I don't even know what the heck I am doing. And I don't know why I am typing this. Maybe I am too bored waiting for the bathroom.

Some things are just so difficult to figure out! Seriously. Like chicken come first or egg come first. Hmm. What would you say? I cant think of an answer and I cant be bothered too. What comes first to me will be my As. Heck the chicken and the egg. Heck everything else not important.

Still, I feel quite disturbed. In terms of studies I more or less know what I want. but other aspects leh? I am hopelessly lost. Bottling up everything saves the trouble of explaining, but you will just feel an immovable weight pressing down on you. Not the most pleasant feeling in the world, but compared to the other alternative of explaination, yeah I would think its better.

Prelim grades were not that fantastic. It's below my expectations (duh). I don't know how man. Serious. I shldn't be fretting over it now, but oh well.

Why? People are really hard to figure out. Especially when it comes to a person whom your brain decide not to analyse. Further analysis might just destroy the good impression that one has left in your heart. Ok this sounds weird. For example, you do an exam paper. Wow don't analyse it with your friends after the exam! Your initial impression of "woohoo sure pass" might turn into "holy shit! GG!" Understand? After so long, I still choose to view it as what is was like in its original state. Unblemished and pure. My impression hasn't change. Even if my heart believes otherwise, I still believe the brain is stronger. Afterall, with a brain, scoring As is possible, but with a heart, what can you do man? In my heart, you are very important, but in my brain, As outweigh you by a factor of infinity.

This really sounds emotionless but oh well. Its best to pack up all emotions and put it somewhere else for the time being.

If you don't understand what you are reading, don't clarify. Ask me no questions and i will tell you no lies.

Dis will be the rare times i m coming here to talk cock man. After a hard day's worth of work ( teaching myself and 3 other people), i need to chill! Like what the dude next door says. LOL.

Things happen for a reason. When there is a cause there will be an effect. That's what I discovered after that incident. Just let nature take its course and do not intervene. Because I believe it is not how much hard work you put in, but rather how kind fate is to you. ( i m not talking about studies btw) Cos if you don't study that's gg!

I have this naggy feeling dat I am really neglecting some people who important to me. Like. My dad. I don't rmb seeing him the whole of this week lo. Dis is how bad it is. Thanks to the massive revision and the high demand of my help. LOL.

This is already the final count down already. 5 weeks. I mean 4. Wah. I m counting down to my birthday at the same time. Sigh. This will be the most emo birthday I will ever have. People look forward to their birthdays. People will not want my birthday to come! Even myself. Cos it means As will be here finally. SIGH.

Wil be going to see doc later (not to buy mc), but for other reasons. There is just so little time left. And. I realise. These few days I am wasting smsing like I wasting oxygen talking! Haiyo tsk tsk. I have to resort to my mum's hp sometimes to msg -.-||| If not my mum will kill me for overshooting. Thou shall exercise some self control man.

The time to really start working is now. (wait i have already started le so not applicable to me). I don't want to disappoint people who had placed their faith in me. I will do them proud, and do myself proud. Although i improved abit from mid years to prelims, the improvement can be measured using a vernier calipers -.-||. Dats how pathetic it is.

Its never wise to pray for a miracle, but rather to perform it.

I still have alot alot of things to say! But I am not going to say it now cos i m limiting myself to 10 mins blogging. Time shall tell...

Today is really the worst day of my life! How can I make such a fundamental error?! I really see what's infront of me and dint realise the overall big picture man. I gave up a forest literally for a berry, and I think its a rotten berry! Omg. Stupidity at its max!

Prelim is over and done with finally. And I really think I will need a very big miracle. Really big. No offence. But I think it needs to be bigger than alvin. Wad is done is done. The only regret I will have now is making a mistake so disgusting as today. Other than that, I don't really care anymore.

Very nice song!

Lyrics:

Blue for guy, red for girl, green for together sing. Not confused gender ah.

我還在尋找 一個依靠 和一個擁抱

誰替我祈禱 替我煩惱 為我生氣為我鬧

幸福開始有預兆 緣份讓我們慢慢緊靠

然後孤單被吞沒了 無聊變得有話聊 有變化了

小酒窩長睫毛是你最美的記號

我每天睡不著想念你的微笑

你不知道你對我多麼重要

有了你生命完整的剛好

小酒窩長睫毛迷人的無可救藥

我放慢了步調感覺像是喝醉了

終於找到心有靈犀的美好

一輩子暖暖的好 我永遠愛你到老

幸福開始有預兆 緣份讓我們慢慢緊靠

然後孤單被吞沒了 無聊變得有話聊 有變化了

小酒窩長睫毛是你最美的記號

我每天睡不著想念你的微笑

你不知道你對我多麼重要

有了你生命完整的剛好

小酒窩長睫毛迷人的無可救藥

我放慢了步調感覺像是喝醉了

終於找到心有靈犀的美好

一輩子暖暖的好 我永遠愛你到老

小酒窩長睫毛迷人的無可救藥

我放慢了步調感覺像是喝醉了

終於找到心有靈犀的美好

一輩子暖暖的好 我永遠愛你到老

Dis song is very nice! It would be nice to have someone who will pray for you, worry for you, aiya. You get the point. My chinese to english translation cannot make it lol. I dint upload the mv cos its too lovey dovey for my liking. Yuk! Today's volleyball and basketball session is quite fun. Kept my mind off the disgusting mcq. LOL. My basketball is still dam lousy. Haix. I m very scared I lose sleep! Nothing can beat the record low I feeling now man! Prelims, lack of sleep, tonnes of things to do, arsenal playing like..haix.

I better stop complaining! Tmr will be a better day man! I hope. Seriously.

This few days really sucks. Its really the worse few days of my life. Seriously! Although I appear dam happy, but it really really hurts inside.

I really have serious doubts about some people man. Seriously. Ok la. I have to admit. Its true that I had some SLIGHT feelings for you. But all that I had wanted is just to remain as your friend. Cos I know I can never give you any happiness. Being your friend is good enough for me already. You happy, I happy everyone happy cos I got the ability to make everyone laugh. (ok thats not the point). Why must you ever doubt my motives =.=. Cos I really have no ulterior motives. Other than being frens, I don't foresee anything else. And I REALLY HATE people who doubt me. Especially in the first place I don't really like to lie to people. If you really want to keep this distance, I am really ok with it. Cos in the 1st place, I got so many friends who can better appreciate me. 1 more or 1 less, it doesn't really matter right? I am angry not because I feel that my efforts are not reciprocated, but rather, I am really angry cos I am doubted. I don't get angry with people usually. But if I get angry, its really very very angry. If this distance is what you want, then I am fine with it. Although ignoring you is rude, but since you asked for it, I shall oblige.

This crushing blow really came at the wrong time. I am being put under intense pressure at home, in sch by my teachers and by my mum who thinks I am still slacking. Its bad enough to have your mum doubt you already la! Dats y we quarrel often. I feel bad about it, but c'mon. Thats the only way I can make my feelings known. Who can see through this facade of laughter and jokes? Unless you know me inside out, which I doubt there is anyone capable. Does studying mean so much to you? I am really jaded, irritated and pissed. But still, I will go on pressing for my prelims. Cos, I already make a promise.

Well, mr hing. I guess he's right to scold me on tuesday. Cos the way I did my gp essay is really atrocious. This scolding really affected me, cos it came just right after I had a very bad quarrel with my mum. Although things are better now, but I still feel my mum don't care about my welfare. I had to reason 1 hr with her before she can let me have my cable back to watch man u vs arsenal! Haix. Really. I feel bad that mr hing had to mark my shit essay.

On the up side, I really really feel that my class is a rocking class these few days. There were laughter, joy, tears and inspiration this week. Especially during compass. What Ms Ong said was really inspiring. Although it left me with a heavy heart, but I feel that I had really grown alot under Ms Ong. Confirm the best ct I ever had in MJ. Her words actually made me wanna cry! But still, it has its desired effect - showing me that the world is beautiful because your close friends made it beautiful. 204 will always remain in my heart. Forever. You guys are the best. These few days if it weren't for you all, I would have really collapsed. But now, I feel galvanised and ready to go on with life.

Prelims, I will conquer you. Its not empty talk this time.

And should I really take a step back and re-evaluate certain people? Hmm

I m here to release some steam. Zzz. I m reali feeling very hurt & tired. Nothing is going on well for me. Be it studies, friends, family. Wah piang. I cant take it anymore! Sometimes i reali dun mean wad i say. I m facing rejection on all fronts! Wad kind of a life is dis. I put in so much efforts but stil, no one appreciates! I m dam disappointed.